Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Day the Music Stopped

Welcome to my FIRST blog! Thank you for taking the time to read a novice's verbal meandering. If you like what you read, I hope you'll subscribe!

May name is Pamela - and I am addicted to music. I have been since the day I was born (so my mother told me!). I'm certain that my 1st words were sung rather than spoken. I can remember providing the entertainment for my Mom's weekly Bunco club gatherings when a small child, singing songs. I taught myself to play the piano by ear, because I wanted to PLAY what I'd heard my older siblings spin on their record players. My siblings and I performed in musical theatre from the time I was 7.

So many of my fondest childhood memories revolve around music. My parents kept the home filled with music! Though neither parent sang, all of us children excelled, vocally. We entertained ourselves by putting records on the LP player. We would march around the family room to the strains of John Philip Sousa's marches, or danced the Cha Cha and the Waltz. If not in school or rehearsal for a play or musical, all of my time was spent sitting with friends, strumming the guitar and singing favorite tunes. When my parents separated & subsequently divorced, I covered my ears with a set of headphones and rarely surfaced from listening to the saddest music I could find. Somehow it consoled my wounded psyche.

I could not IMAGINE life without music! To say I lived and breathed it, would be an understatement. My memories are forever tied to the music I loved at the time whichever event transpired.

All of that changed one day in September, 1996. Only it took me more than two years to realize that the music had stopped for me on the day my mom - who was also my best friend - was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Although my career had taken me nearly two thousand miles away from her and the rest of my close-knit family, we still talked daily.

It wasn't until more than 2 years after her death, that I even REALIZED that not only had my Mom died, the music had left me, had left my heart and soul, the music too, had died. When that realization hit me, I was filled with such a palpable grief, it is hard for me to articulate. How could I have spent the past 2+ years without EVER sitting down at the piano? How did I make it through 760 days without ever singing a note? How is it possible that I never once listened to my extensive music library or turned on a favorite FM radio station? Why had I deprived myself of the JOY of music? As music has always been tied to the best memories of my life, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that it disappeared during the worst grief of my life.

Even after that realization, I didn't rush to the piano or burst into song. It still took a long time before the music was truly resurrected.

This lengthy story lays the groundwork for one of the most amazing music related discoveries I've ever experienced - Blip.fm. What is Blip.fm? If you don't know yet - it is a music sharing web-site (free!) where people can PLAY or purchase music while connecting with other music lovers across the globe. I joined in early December, 2008 and quickly became a Blip.fm addict!

Blip.fm re-ignited the musical flame for me. The joy of rediscovering my old favorite songs was akin to reuniting with an old lover. Blip also introduced me to a lot of the new music I had missed during my musical embargo. I've been like a kid in a candy store since joining Blip.fm.

If you're a music lover and haven't already experienced Blip.fm, you can join by clicking here, I would love to see you on the Blip-stream!

In future blogs, I will focus on individual artists or groups that have grabbed my attention. I'd love to hear from YOU about the music you're loving these days! Please leave your comment below! That's another of the joys of Blip.fm - discovering new music! Lets take that musical journey together!


  1. Great Job Pamela, very very nice to know a little about U now, "U r My Angel" Does that give Me away? I'll be back 2 tell U but 1st I'll wait for U to comment back U might already know............ I know this is going to b a Great Blog....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Thank you (ambit?) ;) I took a risk not only by blogging, but by this guess!!

  3. My Lady, you continue to amaze me! You and I have much in common with regards to the "music dying" for a while in our lives. I'll have to tell you that story someday, but this is about you - and what an interesting insight into your experiences! I too love blip for rekindling an interest in a wider world of music and the fascinating people that share this experience!
    Wonderful blog Pam! :)

  4. 13to1 "U r My Angel" [but U 4got 13:1] @ladypn A Great New Blog by "ladypn" & I know We all will Love it So sign in right NOW http://ladypn.blogspot.com/
    & for U that read this catch up with Pamela @ http://blip.fm/ladypn

  5. I was only mislead by just moments before, ambit had blipped a song by Kravitz... calling me his angel! Sorry about that & thank you Jhammer! 13to1!!

  6. Awww a heartfelt telling one's love affair with Music and now Blip... you were one of my first contacts @Blip and will always be my Blip Queen. You amaze me with your kindness and musical knowledge! I aspire to be more like you and now you've started a Blog!!! woot hoo... I will enjoy it as I so enjoy your Blips and comments. Congratulations and good luck blogging! Hugz ~~♥~~

  7. Moving testimonial, Pamela. Enjoy your leadership and good humor on blip.fm, and blog is the way to go to expand the conversation. Thanks again! Scott

  8. Hello Pam, thank you for the invite to your blog, this should be fun to follow. You know music is in my soul too..so any form that helps expand the love is alright with me :) Happy hugs and much success with your blogging.

    Sherrybaby65 :):)

  9. Aunty Pam-I often wonder if music had died for many of our family members at that point. I am so grateful that music is entering everyone again. Being raised in our musical family, music is my heart and often my only turning point in my own life turmoils too! Thanks for sharing!

  10. Pamela (Pam)~ I canny believe the awesomeness of your blog. The beautiful way you related the story of what has happened in your life regarding music..well there are similarities in our lives and tears are flowing...Thank You so much for sharing and I look forward to much more.

  11. Pam, Thank you for sharing this with us all, and being such an inspiring presence on blip!

  12. This is Tobie2 trying again....
    I loved this...cant wait for more.

  13. Very nice job on your first blog post... i think we all share a passion for the music in our lives. thank you, for putting some of those feelings into words.Looking forward to all your future posts, see you on Blip!
    aka tom killeen

  14. Pamela..I enjoyed your 1st blog posting..I feel the same way about Music as you do!! Looking forward to more..I understand your life story..Music left me for a time also..See you on Blip.fm ..Take care.. Bye Mary Oney aka @harmony60

  15. Silly girl. You should have had a blog up years ago.

  16. Pamela - I am in love with your story; I fell away from music for a period in my life as well, although the reasons are much more muddled and less tragic than yours. I still find myself somehow being patched, if not healed, by the most heart-wrenching music I can find in those moments when my own heart aches. I too am happy that I've returned to my oldest love, and for the amazing community of souls that is blip.fm - keep writing, keep listening, and keep sharing. - j

  17. Hey little sis... Your blog is amazing. All of us kids shared the same feelings of loss, not only of Mom, but the music she brought to each of our lives. Thanks for putting all of my similar feelings into such a succint message.

  18. Awesome. I look forward to reading your posts and "blip-spamming" you with mine.

    Chris (@bestblips)

  19. 'blog' as a name doesn't do justice to your hearfelt contribution. Let's think of a more worthy name.

    Don Mclean

  20. Beautiful job Pam and very touching. I understand turning away from music during such a sad time in your life. You needed time to grieve and I am so glad that you found your way back. I'm sure your mom is with you and is smiling down on you for taking back such an important part of your life.


  21. Very touching Pamela. I look forward to all your future posts. I have respected you from a far as a BlipDJ with honors, but now even more so, as a person with a beautiful heart and soul. I once heard a quote "Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul" I am positive your mother has helped you find your way back to music. I am glad you found your soul again. :-) and I will think of your words here everytime I see your blip pic. I'm not always good with words so I will leave on yet another quote "Where words fail, Music speaks" and your blipped music/blog speaks to my own soul. Thank you for sharing.

  22. Hi!

    Good luck with your new music blog!

    I´m searching for a little story I wrote a few years ago that you might like. The loss of music in your daily life and so on...

    Looking forward to reading your upcoming posts/thoughts on music... any help/collaboration you might need from me or Spain, just shout!


    Juan Antonio

  23. Hello Pamela,
    I couldnt stop crying when I read your blog.Its so sad and touching and yet so loving and real.
    Your Mum is happy in Heaven with God/Goddess..you have to pull youself together and Im sure your mummy wants to see you happy and joyful again..in your music world.
    I thank you and I love you for sharing your grief..We are great friends and you are never alone in this CyberWorld.
    Smile and Keep going. Im so proud of you honey.

  24. Amazing story...

    Have always thought you were an amazing person with a heart of gold. You have touched me with the songs you have sent me on blip bc I know they come from your heart.

    The music lives within you still...u are the music.... my fav. singer, Stevie Nicks lost her best friend Robin Snyder Anderson to cancer & created the City of Hope in AZ to help fight cancer....

    I'm sorry for your tragic loss - and my thoughts and prayers go out to you.

    Your story is inspirational in many ways and makes my problems seem less signficant....TY for
    your inspiration & thank you for the songs you've sent - it means a lot.

    God Bless You!


  25. Hi,Pam!Your experiences with the passing of your Mother are in some ways like mine.But I didn't retreat from music,I immersed myself in it and retreated from the world.Thanks to blip and twitter I realized I wanted to live again and I went back to work.Thank you so much for your kindness to me.The times we have talked thru blip have touched my heart and will forever live in my memory.I needed that like a plant needs water.And so thanks to you and other special blip djs I am living my life again.You are in my thoughts and prayers.Thank you for sharing with all of us!
    ~Karen (singout)

  26. Hi ladypn! as I know you from Blipfm.
    I've really appreciated your writing. I identify myself with you a lot. I also thank Blip for "giving music back to me". I wish you all the best with your blog. I'll come visit from time to time. :)

  27. It seems that everyone who really likes blip.fm loves music and loves getting to know other people who love music too. I enjoy this new glimpse of you and look forward to reading your blog. Happy Birthday!

  28. Happy Birthday,Pam . . .be it blip birthday(think that's Dec) or Your Belly Button birthday! Wishing you the Best day of your life, today and everyday. I can relate to finding life again on blip. Story for some other time, as this is YOUR day to shine!! So, blip to your hearts content,and my Best to You! Love ya' Dancer12

  29. Happy Birthday Awesome BlipStar! Enjoy your special day pam! :))

  30. Big Happy Happy Bday 2 U..!!!!!

  31. Belated HAPPY B'DAY!! ♫ ♫ ♫

    Thank u AGAIN 4 making me feel welcome on Blip!
    U R very thoughtful!

    Wishing u all the best!

    God Bless!
    Love, Roxanne721

  32. Wonderful writing, wonderful self expression, I'm really glad I read your entire blog...You should write! Glad to have "met" you through this blog, and I'm hoping we get to know each other further....I agree....Blipping is a great way to Celebrate our Love Of Music....
    I almost passed on recently, and had (total) 29 hours of surgery, and 57 days in hospital within 4 months...and music was first and foremost to think of in my bed...I played in my band daily in my mind as I recuperated! I saw that saying as so true...."If you lose something, and it comes back to you, it was truly yours"

    I wish you the best in life, and more following your Bliss!

    Thanks Again for your writing


  33. I had to find out what Juli meant when she reblipped the song American Pie and mentioned this blog.
    So much of what you said also rings true for me, when I lost my dad in 2001 I also went through a period of putting music aside.
    What a great blog you have here, I will be visiting it more often.
    Also wanted to say thanks for your help in the making of Dave's Blues theme over on my network!

  34. Hi just checked your blog I love my music my main collection is 60/70/80s Reggae and Soul with some Jazz and AfroJazz one to check is Assagai - Telephone girl.
    I also have a small collection of 70/80s punk.
    Just the other day I was listening to Aquarian Dream - Fantasy LP offline I listen to more music straight from my decks. I one them with to much music I should be selling some one day. Smith and Jones Forever.

    Select profile list ain't got any of them, I always star to feel lost what do I do now just sign off bye

    Comment should not be empty ok done that
    Post Comment yes that looks like the thing I should click/press/push
    JahGussi signing out bye bye
    did'nt work Please choose a profile
    Sending postcards was easier
    just stick a stamp on and away it goes
    ok lets try profile

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